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Posts Tagged ‘cum too soon’

A SIMPLE, FUN TECHNIQUE CAN HELP MANY AVOID THIS PROBLEM 

A man’s body has been preprogrammed by evolution to orgasm as fast as possible. The better to sooner initiate the joining of ovum and spermatozoa before coitus could be interrupted by a cataclysmic event, and thereby increasing the odds that new humans would be created.

If you have ever seen animals engaged in sex you will notice that it’s all over quickly. They follow their programming only, without thought or planning. There is no finesse, no technique, no lingering, no concern about a partner’s satisfaction. Just the male working diligently to get the job done fast. (Admittedly, there is plenty of interesting foreplay behavior in the animal kingdom.)

When you hop on your partner, quickly lose control and hop right off, you too are just following your programming without thought or planning. But said behavior will not endear you to your partner.

Speedy ejaculation was a noble sentiment eons ago when the evolutionary goal was to populate the globe with humans, but it is of questionable value now, if any. Nowadays, with 7.5 billion people in the world, we aren’t as concerned with using sex to make other humans, as we are with using it to enjoy ourselves and others. Simply put, PE ends the fun too soon.

There is no quick fix by way of a supplement, and what I’m going to tell you won’t work for a lot of men. This post is about your ability to strengthen your “sexual will” by practicing an exercise of denial during the act. It will  help you build your “sexual will” the same way you might try to strengthen a muscle through targeted physical exercise. Just know that it can be done.

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Note: Women, and men, don’t want a partner who orgasms before they can even get into a groove. They also don’t want an automaton who can bang away all night without ever getting lost in the moment. Believe it or not, there are men who have too much control, and it makes them boring lovers. The following exercise will help many of you increase your ability to hold back an orgasm. But remember, if you take it too far and get too good at it, it can make you appear disinterested. Find a nice balance with the minimum goal being to outlast your partner’s orgasm.

Note: Also worthy of mention is that some women “suffer” from premature orgasm as well. They love the act and want it to last, but can’t control themselves. They too orgasm sooner than they would like, and they too can be helped by this exercise.

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THE START/STOP METHOD

Don’t use porn during the exercise. It will get you too excited and interfere with your ability to remain in control.

The goal of this exercise is to prolong how long you last during the act, not to facilitate your path to orgasm. The basis for this exercise is that you will practice denial all the way through the act, and thereby strengthen your ability to hold back an orgasm. You will do this with timed pauses where you remain in penetration but stop all activity.

You will need a clock with a second hand to time your active and pause periods.

THE FOUR LEVELS OF THE EXERCISE

Even if you can last a lot longer than the times specified here, follow them anyway when doing the exercise. You might be happily surprised at your increased performance and duration over time. The longer the act lasts, the more pleasure you will experience. Isn’t that the point?

Stay at each level until you can make the act last 15 minutes. When you can remain in penetration for 15 minutes without losing control move up to the next level. Even when you reach Level 4, make yourself adhere to the active and pause periods during the exercise to ensure that your “sexual will” remains strong.

Level 1:

Begin the act, alone or with a partner.

Stop after 30 seconds.

Wait 30 seconds.

Repeat, so that you are on for 30 seconds and off for 30 seconds.

If you find that you are unable to last even for the first 30 seconds, just stop sooner. If necessary, start at 10 seconds active and 30 seconds paused. Then slowly increase the active times until you reach Level 1.

If you orgasm before you can even enter your partner, you will need to practice alone until you can go for at least 8 minutes without losing control. You owe at least that much time to any potential partner.

Level 2:

Begin the act, alone or with a partner.

Stop after 60 seconds.

Wait 30 seconds.

Repeat, so that you are on for 60 seconds and off for 30 seconds. 

Level 3:

Begin the act, alone or with a partner.

Stop after 90 seconds.

Wait 30 seconds.

Repeat, so that you are on for 90 seconds and off for 30 seconds. 

Level 4:

Begin the act, alone or with a partner.

Stop after 2 minutes.

Wait 30 seconds.

Repeat, so that you are on for 2 minutes and off for 30 seconds. The goal at this level is to last 16 minutes, not 15 as in the other levels. 

Once you have mastered Level 4—gone 16 minutes without losing control—you can continue to add 30 seconds to the active stage for each session, but always maintain a minimum 30 second pause interval. Yes, pauses count toward the time period, because you remain in penetration the whole time.

Try to work your way up to remaining in penetration for 25 minutes to an hour before orgasm. You don’t have to stop there; you can go for hours using the start/stop method to remain in control. 

THE PAUSES

The idea behind the 30 second pauses is that they give you a chance to calm down and stay in control.

During pauses, all your energy should be focused on staying in control and not giving in to pleasure, to prevent orgasm. If 30 seconds are not enough to slow you down, increase the pauses to 45 seconds, or even a minute or more. Whatever it takes to stay in control. Never pause for less than a 30 second interval.

Down time during the pauses is not dead time. It is a whole different pleasure experience. It is rather like floating in a blanket of sensuality, more subdued than what movement brings, but still sexually pleasurable.

THE ACTIVE STAGES

It will help if during the active parts you concentrate on not holding on to the pleasure you’re feeling, not letting it build up. What builds up must release; release is what you’re trying to forestall. Holding back release is the reason for the pauses.

Rather, picture that the sensation comes into your brain, is experienced by you in the fullest way possible, and then flows down through your body and out through the soles of your feet. When you feel it building up inside, tell yourself to let go. Don’t hold on to the sensations, instead let them drop away and flow out of you.

The point is by not letting pleasure build up, you increase your control over when you orgasm.

Ordinarily, when engaged in sex, pleasure takes over and leaves you pretty much helpless. If you can remain in control during the pauses you can learn to give and accept pleasure for hours without losing control. It will take practice and plenty of discipline, but it’s worth the trouble.

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Note: If in the beginning you fail more than you succeed, keep trying. Also know that you don’t have to leave your partner hanging while you mope about your failure and suck up the proffered pity. Get over it and get back in there. You still have functioning hands, mouth, and a tongue, so get busy. Help your partner over the hump by other means. Use a toy if you have to, but get it done.

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Please be nice to each other, and look for my next post: Blog 48: High Anxiety, where you will learn about a supplement that melts worry away, and a mental exercise to help prevent its onset.

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Lynn Capehart Wellness Foundation, Inc., is a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation. Any donation you make is tax deductible. We appreciate your support for our current efforts to administer a Vitamin Scholarship Program, so that we may supply supplements to those who could be cured of their diseases but cannot afford the cost. You may make your donations through lynncapehartnonprofit@outlook.com at www.paypal.com using any credit card or bank anywhere in the world. You can contact me directly at lynncapehart@gmail.com. Thank you.

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